It’s unfortunate how the American Dad is portrayed in our media. I keep seeing commercials of some moronic Dad doing something ridiculous with his kids followed by the shameful dismay of his disapproving wife. Despite these mocking, unfair, and stereotypical portrayals of the American Dad, the Dads I know don’t look or act anything like these ridiculous Dad’s on TV sitcoms. The Dads I know and the Dads I work with in my practice are amazing, dedicated, and deserve a million awards for the sometimes thankless job of being a great Dad. To this end, I wanted to share with you 4 really great reasons why we should celebrate the Dads in our lives this Father’s Day holiday with fervor and reckless abandon. [Read more…]
Having a happy and healthy marriage is a huge accomplishment when we have young children in our families. According to marital satisfaction survey’s, couples seem to be least happy in their marital life span when a child under the age of 5 is present in the home. This is a tough time for nearly all couples, but some couples seem to traverse this difficult period more smoothly than others. [Read more…]
By the time couples find themselves in a state of distress, long forgotten are the days when they used to talk to one another in a way that promotes connection and safety in their relationship. Somehow, life has a sneaky way of intervening into our cherished relationships to the point for many couples where they can go several months without having even a meaningful 5-minute conversation. [Read more…]
By the time many couples show up to couples therapy, their relationship mirrors more of a cohabiting partnership, rather than a passionate marriage. Many of these couples don’t hate each other, but they’re bored, they’ve lost interest and they act more like brothers and sisters. These couples are married, and they’ve entered the “friend zone” and their friendliness is undermining their relationship. [Read more…]
Moms have the hardest job in the world. Caring for babies is an incredibly tasking experience both physically and emotionally. To make matters even more difficult, many Moms struggle with feelings of inappropriate guilt, which adds a 1,000 lb. weight to the hardships of being a Mom. I wanted to share with you some thoughts on guilt and what you can do do to shed some of these debilitating feelings that keep you from feeling the joys your deserve. [Read more…]
Introducing children into the marital relationship will be one of the most difficult transitions new parents will ever make. Multiple marital satisfaction studies have shown again and again that having children is one of the biggest stressors any relationship will undergo, and the results are depressing when considering how many marriages end shortly after baby arrives. [Read more…]
Inevitably, when relationships become stressed and challenged, we may begin to think there might be someone better out there for us – that maybe we just married the wrong person for us. We know we love our partner, but sometimes they can be so frustrating and disappointing, that the only place to turn is to imagine that things just wouldn’t feel this way if we were with someone else. It’s very common for people to imagine and fantasize about a life with someone different; a life that is free of conflict and the unsettling emotions that arise in their current relationship. Maybe I just picked wrong? Maybe someone else makes more sense for me. These feelings often bring people into couples therapy, hoping that I may be able to help them determine if there mate is right for them. Usually, they’re disappointed with my answer. More often than not, I tell people I think they are perfect for each other, and that choosing a different mate typically won’t make their problems go away; they’ll just be recreated with their new partner. With divorce rates approaching 80% for 3rd marriages, research seems to confirm that our ability to “choose again” isn’t any indication of success. Certainly there are exceptions to this, but generally, the grass is not greener. [Read more…]
What does it take for the modern family to be successful? Statistics paint a fairly gloomy picture for the modern family. We hear stories about divorce, out-of-control teens, infidelity, “broken homes”, and sometimes even physical and emotional abuse. Definitions of a successful family vary, but most sociologists and family therapists agree on a few key fundamentals that differentiate successful families from unsuccessful families. So, how do we define success in a family? This is the definition of a successful family that I’ve come to adopt in my family therapy practice:A successful family promotes a sense of positive family and individual identity, fosters satisfying and fulfilling interactions among all members, and copes with stress in a way that results in more flexibility and cohesiveness in the family.
Choosing a good therapist can feel like a daunting task. A quick Google search reveals the many options available, but how is one to really make this very important decision in a way that is thoughtful, informed, and ultimately feels satisfying? I’ve had a few friends lately ask me to provide them with therapy referrals, and as I’ve done it, it’s prompted me to think about why I refer to the people I refer to. [Read more…]
Recently, I wrote a blog post titled: 4 Things New Moms Should Know About Their Husbands. Today’s guest post, written by Hillery Hafner, LMFT is a complementary piece from a Moms point a view. Enjoy!
Dads, are you feeling a little confused about your wife since the arrival of your new baby? Does it feel like your wife has lost it a little bit? Well, she probably has, and you might want to cut her a little slack. You new-Mom-wife has a lot on her plate right now and there are some things about her that may be better explained with further clarification.
From the Mom’s that I know, my experience as a clinician, and from my own personal journey, I wanted to share a few important things with Dads that are invaluable to understand about your new-Mom-wife. Developing a deeper understanding of your new-Mom-wife is really important; it will hopefully clear the air with any misunderstandings or miscommunications and lead to increased intimacy in your relationship. [Read more…]